The Money Man

There was a man who had worked all his life and had saved all of his money.
He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me, because I want to take my money with me to the afterlife.”
His wife promised him with all her heart that when he died, she would put the money in the casket with him.
Well, he died.
He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was dressed in black and sitting next to her closest friend.
When the ceremony ended, just before the undertakers closed the casket, the wife said “wait a minute!”
She ran up with a box and placed it in the casket.
The undertakers then locked the casket and rolled it away.
Her friend said, “Girlfriend, I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all the money in there with that man.”
The wife said, “Yes, I promised. I’m a good person and I can’t go back on my word. I told him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”
“You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?”
“I sure did,” the wife answered. “I wrote him a check.”

Source: http://services.juniata.edu/jcpress/lantern/june_july03.pdf

The call from the boss

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with the main computer.
He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?”
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, “Is your daddy home?”
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?” the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, “No, he’s busy.”
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”
“Yes,” came the answer.
“May I talk with her?”
Again the small voice whispered,“No, she’s busy.”
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left unattended, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. “Is there any one there besides you?” the boss asked the child.
“Yes,” whispered the child, “A policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy,” whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?” asked the boss. “Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman,” came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A hello-copper,” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed, whispering voice, the child answered, “The search team just landed the hello-copper.”
Alarmed and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, “Why are they there?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a giggle, “They’re looking for me.”
Source: http://services.juniata.edu/jcpress/lantern/june_july03.pdf