The 26-year-old mother stared down at her son who was dying of terminal leukemia. Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible. The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son’s dreams to come true. She took her son’s hand and asked, “Bopsy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?” “Mommy, I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.” Mom smiled back and said, “Let’s see if we can make your wish come true.” Later that day she went to her local fire department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained her son’s final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her six-year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine. Fireman Bob said, “Look, we can do better than that. If you’ll have your son ready at seven o’clock Wednesday morning, we’ll make him an honorary fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards! “And if you’ll give us his sizes, we’ll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat — not a toy one — with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots. They’re all manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast.” Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Bopsy, dressed him in his fire uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Bopsy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven. There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Bopsy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire engines, the paramedic’s van, and even the fire chief’s car. He was also videotaped for the local news program. Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Bopsy that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible. One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital. Then she remembered the day Bopsy had spent as a fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Bopsy as he made his transition. The chief replied, “We can do better than that. We’ll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favor? When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire? It’s just the fire department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?” About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital, extended its ladder up to Bopsy’s third floor open window and five firefighters climbed up the ladder into Bopsy’s room. With his mother’s permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they loved him. With his dying breath, Bopsy looked up at the fire chief and said, “Chief, am I really a fireman now?” “Yes, Bopsy, you are a fireman now,” the chief said. With those words, Bopsy smiled and closed his eyes one last time. He passed away later that evening.
Category: Stories
Julemanden
Der er ca. 2 milliarder børn på Jorden. Imidlertid skal julemanden ikke besøge muslimer, hinduer, jøder eller buddhister, hvilket reducerer antallet til 15% eller 378 millioner. Med et verdensgennemsnit på 3,5 børn pr. husstand er der altså 108 millioner husstande at besøge, idet vi antager, at der er mindst et artigt barn i hver husstand.
Julemanden har, p.g.a. Jordens forskellige tidszoner og rotation, ca. 31 timer at klare sit arbejde i, idet vi antager, at han rejser fra øst mod vest, hvilket ville være logisk at gøre. Det svarer altså til, at han besøger 967,7 husstande pr. sekund. Det vil altså sige, at for hver kristne husholdning med et artigt barn har julemanden ca. 1/1000 sekund til at parkere slæden, springe ud og hoppe ned gennem skorstenen, fylde sokkerne, der hænger på kaminen, anbringe de resterende gaver under træet, spise det slik der er lagt frem til ham, kravle op igen gennem skorstenen, hoppe op i slæden og fortsætte til det næste hus.
Idet vi antager, at alle hustande, som skal besøges, er jævnt fordelt (det ved vi selvfølgelig, at de ikke er, men vi vil antage det til brug for beregningerne), er der ca. 1 km. mellem hvert hus i gennemsnit. Det giver en samlet rejse på ca. 100 millioner km, idet toiletbesøg og pauser fraregnes. Det vil sige, at Julemandens slæde flyver ca. 1000 km i sekundet eller 3000 gange lydens hastighed. Til sammenligning kan nævnes, at det hurtigste menneskeskabte fartøj nogensinde, rumsonden Ulysses, flyver ca. 50 km i sekundet. I øvrigt kan et konventionelt rensdyr max. løbe ca. 30 km i timen.
Nyttelasten i slæden er et andet interessant aspekt. Idet vi antager, at hvert barn minimum får et lego-sæt af mellemstørrelse (1 kg), skal slæden medtage over 500.000 tons, julemanden selv ikke medregnet. På land kan et normalt rensdyr max. trække ca. 200 kg. Selv hvis vi antager, at de specielle flyvende rensdyr kan trække 10 gange denne vægt, kan opgaven ikke klares med 8 eller 9 – julemanden ville have brug for 360.000 rensdyr. Dette vil, sammen med gaverne bringe slædens samlede vægt op på ca. 600.000 tons.
600.000 tons, som flyver med 1000 km i sekundet skaber en enorm luftmodstand. Dette ville opvarme rensdyrene på samme måde som en meteor, der kommer ind i jordens atmosfære. De to fører-rensdyr ville hver absorbere en energi på 14.300 trilliarder joule pr. sekund hvilket er det samme som 14.300 trilliarder watt. De ville simpelthen flamme op øjeblikkeligt, og rensdyrene bagved ville blive udsat for overlydsbrag og derefter selv flamme op. Den samlede rensdyrflok ville være brændt af i løbet af 4,26 tusindedel af et sekund, dvs. ca. når julemanden er nået til det femte hus. Men det kan iøvrigt være lige meget, for idet julemandens slæde accelererer fra 0 til 1000 km/s på 1/1000 sekund, vil alle i slæden blive udsat for en kraft 17.500 gange stærkere end tyngdekraften. En julemand på 150 kg. (vægten skønnet ud fra eksisterende billedmateriale) ville blive naglet til bagenden af slæden svarende til en vægt på ca. 3 millioner kg, hvilket øjeblikkeligt ville knuse hvert et ben i hans krop og forvandle ham til splat.
Konklusionen er derfor, at hvis julemanden nogensinde har eksisteret, er han død nu.
Ædrufanden
Har du hørt om Ædrufanden?? De fleste har haft ham på besøg, men de færreste har set ham Ædrufanden. Efter en af de vilde nætter i byen kommer du hjem og vælter i seng – uvidende om hvad følger….
Pludselig braser Ædrufanden ind i din lejlighed, med hans kendetegn – en hammer, småpenge og en ½ liter diesel.
Først tager han alt dit tøj, som du har lagt pænt sammen og smider det rundt i hele lejligheden. Herefter lukker han vinduet og giver dig dine sko på igen, som du ellers havde stillet i entreen. Sedlerne i din lomme bliver byttet ud med småmønter, hvorefter han giver dig et ordentligt gok i nødden med sin hammer og hælder sin ½ liter diesel ned i halsen på dig. Skulle du være heldig at have fundet den store kærlighed i byen den aften eller et uidentificeret objekt, så vær sikker på at Ædrufanden bytter hende ud med et mindre heldigt tilfælde, som ligner en bøjet færge i hovedet. Når du vågner viser det sig at hun har Thyborøn dialekt. Jeg har altid vidst at det ikke var min fejl, når disse ting skete…
Kender du Ædrufanden bedes du kontakte mig, da jeg har en høne og plukke med ham!! Rygtet siger, at Ædrufanden desuden planter hår på din tunge, et tykt lag pizzadej på dine tænder og udleverer dit telefonnummer til alle de grimme og håbløse tilfælde på gaden.
Kender du ham????
The call from the boss
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with the main computer.
He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?”
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, “Is your daddy home?”
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?” the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, “No, he’s busy.”
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”
“Yes,” came the answer.
“May I talk with her?”
Again the small voice whispered,“No, she’s busy.”
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left unattended, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. “Is there any one there besides you?” the boss asked the child.
“Yes,” whispered the child, “A policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy,” whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?” asked the boss. “Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman,” came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A hello-copper,” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed, whispering voice, the child answered, “The search team just landed the hello-copper.”
Alarmed and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, “Why are they there?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a giggle, “They’re looking for me.”
Source: http://services.juniata.edu/jcpress/lantern/june_july03.pdf
The Money Man
There was a man who had worked all his life and had saved all of his money.
He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me, because I want to take my money with me to the afterlife.”
His wife promised him with all her heart that when he died, she would put the money in the casket with him.
Well, he died.
He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was dressed in black and sitting next to her closest friend.
When the ceremony ended, just before the undertakers closed the casket, the wife said “wait a minute!”
She ran up with a box and placed it in the casket.
The undertakers then locked the casket and rolled it away.
Her friend said, “Girlfriend, I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all the money in there with that man.”
The wife said, “Yes, I promised. I’m a good person and I can’t go back on my word. I told him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”
“You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?”
“I sure did,” the wife answered. “I wrote him a check.”
Source: http://services.juniata.edu/jcpress/lantern/june_july03.pdf